Summer Solstice 2024

Still Life with Fire

Happy Solstice.

I was up at 3am this morning-I could not sleep.

The heat is oppressive in this city lately. This week is a wave of fire.

This day is a sacred day of recognition- a moment in time to celebrate all that has been done up to this point. I feel kind of buzzy this week- a week of contracts (a new car) plentiful herbs I have cultivated for three years,(lavender, lemon balm, thyme, oregano) a final release of old histories. My old car held the weight of my past. It was full of old tools, ancient beasts, (an ostrich) another story long over.

To sell it and be able to use its energy; to alchemize it into a more compact silver Honda Hr-v, it is a symbol of my growth. Of who I am at 40, of the journey I have been on these past few years. Many of the objects contained in that car are being given away today. The paperwork will be signed at 2. And all of this feels rather fitting, on the longest day of the year.

For me a car is a portal. My chariot. I’ve always prioritized this tool in my life, because it aligns with something in me. Something deep and true and close to my being. Freedom. Adventure. Independence. Trust. A small world that moves, that I can exist within. A place of safety from which to see this world. A place for me.

This is the first time I’ve had any say in the kind of car, the color, the size. This past week was full of many decisions, each of them new. This past week was a huge challenge. Navigating purchasing a car with a limited budget was terrifying.

But, with the help of people who love me, I did it.

It has taken many cycles of life to get where I am now. To see moments as they are and find the truths in them. I am faced with so many unknowns and mysteries right now, but many stagnant waters have been cleared away with streaming water I summoned myself

from underground, from the depths of the land.

This solstice, I say I am 40 years here and just beginning.

This solstice, I feel fire. In this sweltering heat that feels unnatural I accept its nature, the truth of this planet, the way the balance of our universe, our elements, in ourselves and in our ecosystems all work together to bring us to this point. We are ultimately a part of this ecosystem and so our fates entwine.

As for now, I celebrate this milestone.

Who knew my talisman for today would be a little stormcloud silver car, my moment of sacred recognition, a candle in the darkness.

What is you talisman on this long day? What have you reached, what can you look at and say- I have done this now.

I summon a circle of lemon balm and thyme and lavender

the bees are celebrating in the garden

I remember what my ancient grandfather made, in golden light.

A purple stone. A tempered tool.

Lets go forward after today, emboldened with the things we’ve made, ready to go further down the path.

Tomorrow marks the gentle descent to darker days.

Today, is all light. Golden smoking heat.

The circle of time.